Democracy at its worst
Until this week, I didn’t pay much attention to Prop 8. I saw some of the ads, but mostly I thought, “Of course it won’t pass. California is a world leader in these sorts of issues and would never strike such a blow to equal rights.” Right? After seeing the polls, I am shocked. [Clarification: most polls show it failing, but it's been getting very close, and if there is any "Bradley effect," it could get scary.]
Dare we ask why those ads warning against children learning about gay marriage in schools have been so effective? Does this mean Californians want their children growing up homophobic? Not the state I thought it was.
But, going beyond the political rhetoric, I can honestly say I have never heard a half-decent argument against allowing gay marriage. One concern that could maybe, in principle (I want to be clear that I’m not endorsing this argument) support banning gay marriage is that same-sex couples might be less effective (somehow) as parents.
However, this concern is misguided; just look at what the American Psychological Association has to say:
Research suggests that sexual identities (including gender identity, gender-role behavior, and sexual orientation) develop in much the same ways among children of lesbian mothers as they do among children of heterosexual parents (Patterson, 2004a). Studies of other aspects of personal development (including personality, self-concept, and conduct) similarly reveal few differences between children of lesbian mothers and children of heterosexual parents (Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999). However, few data regarding these concerns are available for children of gay fathers (Patterson, 2004b). Evidence also suggests that children of lesbian and gay parents have normal social relationships with peers and adults (Patterson, 2000, 2004a; Perrin, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Tasker & Golombok, 1997). The picture that emerges from research is one of general engagement in social life with peers, parents, family members, and friends. Fears about children of lesbian or gay parents being sexually abused by adults, ostracized by peers, or isolated in single-sex lesbian or gay communities have received no scientific support. (emphasis mine)
Maybe you just don’t believe the APA–granted, the evidence is incomplete. Still, are gays really the potential parents you want to go after? Felons and alcoholics are still allowed to marry and have kids, for such things are fundamental rights. How can we justify taking away these fundamental right from gays if we still extend them to groups whose parenting credentials are much more doubtful?
Finally, I really, really hope the old “marriage is defined as a union between a man and a woman” argument has seen its day pass. While that may be some religions’ definition of marriage, it should not be the secular one, for it discriminates.
“Aha!” some will say, “but we could extend all people the same right: the right to marry a person of the opposite sex, so it’s perfectly non-discriminatory.” Many states used to have interracial marriage bans, which can be described as allowing an individual to marry only another person of the same race. Were those laws fair because they could be stated in a race-neutral way? Equal treatment is not the same thing as symmetric treatment.
Enough ranting. Come on, California! Do the right thing!
